Repatriate: Now with 40% more Vitriol!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Honoring Our Veterans
My last six months in the army was one of the darkest times in my life. A friend sent this to me then, and it sure cheered me up. I don't know where it came from, but I hope you like it enough to pass it on...
Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye.
Others may carry the evidence inside them: a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.
Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem.
You can't tell a vet just by looking.
What is a vet?
He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.
He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.
She - or He - is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.
He is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back... at all.
He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.
He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.
He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.
He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor lies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.
He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravatingly slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.
He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so that others would not have to sacrifice theirs.
He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Democrats Dejected by Severe Asswhipping
It's a feeding frenzy out there, folks. Enraged moonbats on the lefty sites like DailyKos, Atrios, and DU (no links for lunatics - ed.) are going insane. Insults are flying, fingers are being pointed, and the lemon that these nutjobs drove off the lot in Iowa has become the ultimate scapegoat. All signs point to a party in disarray. The general consensus seems to be that they needed to ratchet up the insanity level even MORE, if you can believe that. Seems like someone's pining for ol' Deano. Run with that, MooreOns; maybe next time we'll get 75% of the popular vote.
MEANWHILE... high atop a craggy peak in upstate New York, Hillary Clinton spreads her leathery wings, turns her horned visage to the night sky and screams in demonic triumph. The Democrats are ripe for a takeover and are looking for a savior.
It's just one day after John Kerry's concession speech and four years until the next presidential election - and already the New York Times has tapped Hillary Clinton as the Democrats' leading choice for 2008.
The Beast rises in 2008. Be thou ready.
Republican Reign of Darkness Continues...
I am pleased to report that I completed my assignment to suppress 50 minority votes for this election, given to me directly by our dark lord, Darth Rove. I rented a bus and painted "Rock the Muthafuckin Vizzote" on the side and picked up some inner city youth, newly registered and eager to do... well, whatever they were told (they DID think I was a Democrat). After dropping them off at their "precinct" in the middle of the Atchafalaya Basin, I drove to MY precinct, voted, discarded my GOTV bus and went home to enjoy the festivities. Hmmph, wonder if they made it back okay?
Doesn't matter anyway; as I understand it, 9 out of 10 black votes still went Democrat. Some folks wear this mass drubbing like a badge of honor:
When Black voters finally got to speak for themselves on November 2, Bush got 10 or 11 percent of the Black vote, respectively, according to Washington Post and CNN exit polls. The ultra-high profile presence of Condoleezza and Colin, the millions lavished on corrupt Rev. Greedygut preachers, the endless propaganda about a growing “new class” of Black conservatives, the disinformation from the New York Times and, yes, from the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies – all this and more over four years had moved the Black electorate a mere one percent or (maybe) two into the Republican ranks.
Maybe if Dr. Dawson is such a hotshot social demographer, he can help you understand a new concept that you're gonna have to come to terms with, because it now describes the Black Vote perfectly:
That's right, homey. George Bush won both the electoral and popular votes by fairly comfortable margins - without your vote. So why don't you cut the whining, assimilate yourselves into American society, and enjoy prosperity with the rest of us?
“We shall not be moved,” went the civil rights song. Four years of mercenary Black faces in high Republican places – Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Rod Paige – have failed to move us from our righteous Consensus for social justice and international peace, or to dim our highly evolved vision of Black America’s singular mission. These are the cards we have been dealt by history. However, African Americans are especially vulnerable to demoralization from within.
Oh yeah, that's right. You're insane.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Schadenfreude - It's Not Just For Germans Anymore
If you want to know how Bush really did in last night's debate, you just need to look at Bush's detractors and the main-stream media, but I repeat myself. The major networks are calling it a tie, which speaks volumes in itself. But to accurately gauge the mood of the lunatic fringe, we need look no further than the scribblings of Konfirmed Kerry Kool-Aid Karrier William Saletan, who says Kerry struck out.
Bush did well. He botched a few answers—at one point, he said our military should be "more facile"—but he was well-prepared, energetic, and frequently incisive. Democrats thought he'd have trouble fielding hostile questions. They were wrong.
You KNOW that had to stick in Willy-boy's craw. Saletan takes a quick huff of paint and continues:
Kerry, too, was well-prepared, energetic, and incisive. But he failed to do two things that Edwards did against Vice President Cheney. Edwards, like Bush, has message discipline. From the beginning to the end of Tuesday's debate, Edwards hammered one theme: "Mr. Vice President, you are still not being straight with the American people." At the same time, Edwards adapted to the flow of the debate, using Cheney's answers to reinforce the theme. Each time Cheney said something far-fetched, Edwards took that statement and beat it against the cement of reality.
There is nothing more frightening than a true believer. Both Edwards and Kerry fired off some zingers, but Cheney had command of the facts while Edwards stuck to the same tired Howard Dean "BushliedpeoplediednoweaponsofmassdestructiononethousanddeadHalliburton...BLEEEEAAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!!!"
The president of the United States had just blamed the military for screwing up the war. Surely Kerry would seize this chance, before tens of millions of people, to point out that Bush was refusing to reciprocate the loyalty of his troops. But no. Here's what Kerry said: "You rely on good military people to execute the military component of the strategy, but winning the peace is larger than just the military component."
Never mind that Sillyman's premise is all wrong: A) Bush did NOT blame his generals for screwing the war, because
Just when it looked as though Kerry would end the debate on a bad note, he got his biggest gift of the night. The final questioner asked Bush, "Please give three instances in which you came to realize you had made a wrong decision, and what you did to correct it." Amazing, incorrigibly, Bush refused yet again to concede any significant error. On "the big question about whether we should have removed somebody in Iraq, I'll stand by those decisions, because I think they're right," he said. "On the tax cut, it's a big decision. I did the right decision."
DELICIOUS! Slobberton admits that it was a bullshit question: "Mr. President, you are an abject failure as a leader and we'd like you to discuss that in detail with specific examples, but since we have just a few minutes left, can you limit the list of your screwups to only three, and please speak slowly, so that Terry McAuliffe can get a good soundbite or two." Bush refuses to play ball, so then it's "Mr. Kerry, we're going to hold President Bush in a full-nelson headlock and let you kick him in the nuts as hard as you OOOOMMMPHHHH!!!! YOU MISSED HIM AND KICKED ME, STUPID-ASS!!! oh, i think i'm gonna throw up..."
That's misery, folks. Abject, whiny, dyed crimson red liberal misery. And I am feasting on the tears of impotent rage.
If you want a fairly exhaustive rundown of what the blogosphere had to say about the debate, Allah, the creator of worlds, puts it all in your lap. He may be a false god, but he's OUR false god, can you dig it?
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Distrust of Muslims Common in U.S., Poll Finds
What a shocker - we're talking scoop of the century, here.
One in four Americans holds a negative stereotype of Muslims, and almost
Might that have something to do with 19 Muslims hijacking four airliners, slamming them into buildings and thereby killing thousands of our citizens?
Officials with the Council on American-Islamic Relations, which sponsored the
I don't get it either, Nihad! What is it about Muslims that could possibly be hacking off the American people?
The violence in Iraq, including the beheadings of hostages by Muslim radicals,
Oops! almost forgot that one. I don't mean to sound hateful, but is it possible that the, umm... MURDER OF 150 CHILDREN by hmm... let's see, who were they... MUSLIM TERRORISTS in Beslan might have something to do with it?
I'm tired of being told I need to understand Muslims. Fuck that. THEY need to understand that THEY are the problem. Not all Muslims are terrorists, but you can bet your ass that ALL TERRORISTS ARE MUSLIMS.
When someone like me calls them a bunch of towelheads or cameljockeys or splodey-dopes, they're at the microphone in minutes, decrying our hate speech and wailing about how peaceful Islam is. But when another child gets shredded by a bomb on a bus in Isreal, or another American gets his head sawed off on television, all of a sudden they've got laryngitis. I'm sick of this shit.
Islam is the problem. Muslims are the problem. If they cannot or will not be part of the solution, then they will have the solution imposed on them. If you backwards-ass rug merchants can't behave yourselves, then we'll have to just kill the most dangerous of you and contain the rest in your sandboxes.
Nine Times Out of Ten, It's an Electric Razor
But, every once in a while... it's a dildo.
Mackay, Australia, Oct. 4 (UPI) -- Flights from an Australian airport were delayed for 30 minutes Monday when a discarded sex toy began buzzing and set off a security emergency alarm.
In the event of a dildo, it's airline policy never to imply ownership. We're trained to use the indefinite article "A" dildo, never...
When the buzzing was heard, the entire terminal was evacuated and bomb experts were about to be summoned when the passenger came forward and explained what it was, said Acting Inspector Roger Lowe.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Any One Else Pick Up On This?
I saw the debate tonight - I call draw, which is about what I expected. Seemed to me Kerry came out with well-rehearsed talking points, which he presented smoothly, while Bush's strategy seemed to favor the counterpunch. So for sheer nimbleness, I give the edge to Bush. He wasn't trying to get through his index cards so much as probing for a Kerry contradiction he could exploit, and he got him on a couple. In my opinion, this debate only solidified their respective bases: no new ground here. Nothing to sway those most piss-ignorant and stupid of all Americans - the Undecided Voter. What the hell are you holding out for? An offer of a free toaster? Maybe one of them will offer to haul your ashes for a vote.
Here's what I was referring to in my title, though. In Bush's closing statement, he said CLEARLY:
"We will have an all-volunteer Army."
I hope that puts all the stupid talk of a draft to rest. How dumb can CBS be? The only idiots in this country who support a draft are Chuck Rangel and Fritz Hollings, both Democrats.
I was also having an excellent time watching Spoons nervously cheerlead for Bush while he liveblogged the debate. For someone who is so vehemently opposed to Bush winning this election because somehow it "would be good for conservatives" if he lost and we became the U.N.'s bitch for four years, he sure acted like a dad watching his kid get in the game for the first time ever and being scared shitless for him that he might fumble the ball. I would like to say that I hate to rub his face in it.
But that would be lying.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Lucky. VERY Lucky.
Hurricane Ivan hit about 80 miles east of here. We ended up evacuating to Baton Rouge and staying with friends. Five hours to drive 60 miles. Unbelievable.
It seems to me that the hurricane not hitting New Orleans only reinforces the stupidity of the people who stayed and convinces those who evacuated but continually bitched about the inconvenience of boarding up the house and sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic that it was not, in fact, worth the hassle. Next time they'll stay, too.
"See, nothing happened," these people are telling themselves and anyone who'll listen. "All you people spent hours in traffic and Ivan didn't even hit here."
Hmm, let me see if I follow your logic - you haven't been killed by a hurricane yet, ergo it is impossible for you to be killed by a hurricane now or in the future. Hell, at this rate, you may just live forever. Then they attempt to make you feel like you're stupid for leaving.
A lot of people from Gulf Shores (just an hour away) to Pensacola felt the same way. Search crews are still pulling their waterlogged corpses from the wreckage of what used to be their homes. If you live on the Gulf Coast and a hurricane is headed your way, or it looks like it might be headed your way, leave. Mother Nature is one powerful, unfeeling bitch and she will wipe your home off the face of the earth like it never existed. Like YOU never existed. Don't be cocky, she doesn't notice and you're only impressing the other idiots.
Like I told my wife - If I'm wrong, the worst thing that happens is we spent five hours in a truck and a couple of days with our friends. If they are wrong, the worst that happens is they most likely drown.
Monday, September 13, 2004
This May Be It
Hurricane Ivan looks like it's going to hit New Orleans dead on. If so, my house is probably going to be a total loss. By total loss, I mean submerged under 25 feet of water. I live about 200 yards off the southern shore of Lake Pontchartrain, which will be on top of my house as a direct hit on the mouth of the Mississippi will push the storm surge north towards me, and the counter-clockwise direction of the storm will push the lake over the levee and into my yard. There's a pumping station about half a mile away, but nowhere to pump water to.
I sure am glad I didn't let that asshole sell me a new roof a couple of months ago.
Right now I'm taking a breather before continuing to load our supplies in our Planet-Killer Edition Ford Expedition. And how many of your irreplaceable mementos can you fit in your hybrid clown-car? That's what I thought.
Hurricane preparedness plans for New Orleans come in two varieties:
1) Get the hell out, or
2) Stay here and die.
We're going with option 1. Don't know where yet, just anywhere the hurricane isn't. We're definitely heading north (duh!) and probably west some, maybe Texas. Every hotel room in Louisiana was booked as of early this afternoon, so I imagine it will be a long haul.
If I don't see you (or read you) for a while, my friends, God bless you and thanks for the laughs.
Talk to you later.
Update: Sep 14, 2004 5:45p.m.CST